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Can the Non-Stop Whining Be Stopped?
Posted by Jeff on February 27, 2008 253 views Comments (View Comments)Oh boy do I hope so! My wife and I are going crazy some nights. Our 3 1/2 year old son ONLY wants Mommy to put him to bed. (no Dad’s don’t think that is awesome…I then hear it from my wife, don’t I honey!?) Anyway, my wife and I have been making progress at bedtime with Boo the past few weeks and then, just as the tides ebb and flow, this week our son was back to whining about everything.
Why does this happen? I have no clue. I can’t even speculate, sorry! But the advice I have to offer is, dude, you aren’t the only other Dad reading this that this same thing is happening too! I Googled “3yr old whines too much” and found that I wasn’t alone either! Whew. My wife and I can regain our sanity and now work to find a solution.
Some suggestions I located online:
“I always told my kids that I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I persisted until they talked normal.”
“Perhaps you haven’t listened to them unless they were whining, so that’s why they have gotten into the habit…I have done the same thing, its easy to be too busy to listen to their every word.”
“Show them that they need to get your attention first, eye to eye contact, then talk normally to get what they need. If they yell from across the room, tell them they need to be closer and that you can’t hear them.”
“If you give them what they want when they speak normally, then that will reinforce the normal behavior”
All of the above advice require a ton of patience. We’ve been trying to get Boo to look at us when we talk to him and I also was just thinking about having him come closer when he talks to us. I think we’ll give those to a good attempt as that will definitely reduce my stress levels.
Technorati Tags: preschooler, whining
Some other ways we’ve figured out how to deal with Boo’s whining is to give him a lot of treats and do exactly what he says! (Sorry about that, Boo just told me to type that!)
No actually, that is the worst thing to do, never just “give in” to your child because we can’t take it. Of course, when you are in the middle of a 20 minute meltdown, just giving a little something to bring him down to a focused level so I can communicate with him seems to work. Then discussing things with Boo like “Mommy and Daddy can’t understand when you whine, when you use your words we can understand and get you what you want.”
Also make sure to ask your child if they are “missing” something. Like this week, Boo’s daycare teacher is away for a family emergency. Boo is a child of strict routine, and what 3 1/2 year old isn’t, but having her gone is throwing a kink in his daily routine. My wife asked him if he misses her and his response was “Yes”. I also asked him tonight at bed time.
So make sure you interact and show your children you love them when they are being good. I find that I am getting more and more used to good behavior praise and using it to my advantage. Good behavior praise works better in the he long run than punishment or timeouts. I can recall from my college psychology class that punishing (timeout or spanking) is a short term solution to the problem. Sure! It will stop the problem dead in their tracks but only for the moment the punishment lasts. If you give positive feedback, the preschooler with eat it up and want more and more. Hopefully this behavior will start to push out the bad meltdown behavior!
Good luck, please leave comments with your questions or solutions!!
