Candyland Goes to Time Out Land

Posted by Toolbox Dad on February 24, 2009

B R E A K I N G N E W S ! ! !

[Candyland, 2/12/2009] It looks like tonight that Mr. Mint and Gramma Nutt have finally been caught. What crime did they commit? Let’s just say they were in the wrong place when cops raided Gum Drop Mountain after an anonymous tip.

In parenting terms…I gave my children’s Candyland game a time-out.

Why you may ask?

Well because it was getting late in the evening and we were all playing a quiet game of Candyland. My wife usually “stacks the deck” in favor of our kids and lets them draw the cards with the candycane, gumdrop, gingerbread man, etc. Well for whatever reason — I drew a pretty sweet card and traveled the the front of the pack, at least 20 spaces in front of my 4 year old son. Well……….

Tip #337 of the Parenting Guide – Let you Kids Win

With the combo of being 10 minutes from bed time, me going halfway to the finish line (in front of my son), that just made my son just lose it. He said, “I don’t want to play anymore, I NEVER want to play again!” Of course, those words were just that — words. But he pushed all the pieces off the board and I just about had it and therefore took the game and stuck it on the top of our canopy bed frame. In a time-out!

“HAH!!! that’ll teach you,” I thought with a smug look on my face. Well did it work?

50/50 I would say. Of course, I actually felt like I got my point across to him. He was saying sorry about 100x at Formula 1 speeds – he does that when he knows he’s wrong and my wife and I are going to take something away or not allow him to do something as a form of punishment. He knew that he did something wrong, but he was just over tired and couldn’t think it through.

Sure, I was being a hard-ass Dad, but i just needed to do this. My son is NOT the type of kid that does well in time-out (himself) so i resorted to removing the game from the child. I read that somewhere a year or so ago, ’stick the game or toy into timeout has good results’ (I’ll have to dig up that article again).

My son one that can be talked down from his rants and rages by my wife -God bless her! She is really good at talking to him and making him understand what happened, why he was in trouble, and in this case, why the game was in time out on top of our bed frame!

I guess my point is this: Parents, choose wisely on what you punish for and how you punish. Maybe I went a little overboard on this one…but I still think he learned from it.

We’ve yet to play Candyland again.

Hey Dads, Forget Hiding Out in Your Basement…Now We Have a Real Hangout!

Posted by Toolbox Dad on February 20, 2009

I just learned of this site tonight, Dad-Blogs.com, a new, freakin’-awesome site for us Dads! Dad Blogs is a site based on the vision of two dads, Joe Schatz (author of Joeprah) and Pete Janelle (a.k.a peteej from My GPS Camera Phone). Thanks guys for for getting this site off the ground!

First Impressions

I just joined and am very impressed by the layout, the interaction and how simple the site is to navigate and find groups, participate in forums, find buds (friends), write reviews on movies, beer/wine and much more. I can’t wait to actually be more awake to dive in and see who else had joined and what groups are out there.

Shit, this site has it all for us Dads!

Gotta Love the Posts!
Just to get you started…here are two of my (or soon to be) favorite posts. I’m going to have to read, re-read, share, and explain myself to my wife.

Top 6 Things Not to do if you want More Sex with your Wife

…and another post that I NEED to learn from

Parental Cursing Could Become a Child’s Habit, No Sh*t

Ok, so here is a snapshot of my profile to give you an idea of what the site looks like.

Another sweet aspect of the site is that I joined the group for BEER DADS, where we can chat about the beers we all enjoy and so badly need at night. There is even an event scheduled for tonight, 2/20 9pm to chat. I’m hoping I can make it!

Well, enough babble from me…if you haven’t yet checked out Dad-Blogs.com, do it now.

Also, stop over to Building Camelot, where author Tyler, wrote his review on Dad-Blogs.

Teach Your Kids About Nature – Start By Counting the Birds

Posted by Toolbox Dad on February 10, 2009

Are you looking for something fun to do with your kids this weekend for an hour or so? Didn’t get your wife anything for Valentine’s Day? No worries…here is a great solution to both! (Image from RunnerJenny on Flickr)

Why not participate in the Great Backyard Bird Count? Yeah, that’s right, sit by your window or journey onto your deck (if it’s fairly warm) and count some birds. While counting have your kids draw some pictures of birds and slap some hearts on it. Give that to Mommy as a Valentine’s Day card.

I receive an email from Green Daily and the post was in today’s feed.

If you enjoy birdwatching or even just need a good reason to get outside, consider the Great Backyard Bird Count which takes place February 13-16. In the midst of the Valentine plans for the weekend, take a few minutes to look for some birds.

Read the full article “The Great Backyard Bird Count Coming This Weekend“

By counting the birds, you’ll be teaching your children about nature and possibly how birds migrate — and if your kids are 4 and 2 yo like mine, you can teach them to count and learn their colors. Have them count the birds on the ground, the birds in trees, and even the birds flying. Try to determine which bird is bigger than the others. By doing all of this and interacting with them you may spark an interest in nature in your child which I always think is a good thing! I’ve done similar nature activities with my kids last fall…when I took them on a “nature hike” in our backyard. We looked for bunnies and I even showed them “where the bunnies live”. It was just a brush pile in the woods behind our house. But they sure thought the bunnies lived there — in that EXACT spot.

So if the weather is nice in your neck of the woods…why not get outside, breathe the fresh air and teach your kids a little bit about the birds and the bees…well there won’t be any bees in my area yet…whew! I can hold off on that conversation for a long time!

I’m Living a Groundhog’s Day

Posted by Toolbox Dad on February 7, 2009

Good God, kids have so much energy. They don’t stop moving, squirming, or fussing. And mostly, they never tire out and want to fall asleep at night. If you don’t know, my children are 4 and 2 1/2…so you know how things are going if you have similar ages.

Right, hectic at times!

I need to write tonight (now this morning). I think it helps me deal with the struggles I go through with my “Groundhog’s Day” life. Same thing day in and day out. Same mornings, same evenings, same old thing.

Ah, the beautiful morning…la la la LA la la laaaaaa!

Ok let’s start with the morning. It’s 5:45am and my son decides for some crazy reason that he is”bored” in bed and wants needs to wake up. Who’s name gets screamed? “MOOOMMMYYYY!!!!!”.  Who has to go in to his room? RIGHT! The author of this post, me, Daddy! I’m not going to ask “why is that?” because it won’t do any good. It’s been that way for over 4 years. My wife just loves to sleep. I an early bird (and night owl), probably why my kids are so messed up with sleeping.

At least lately I’ve been having my son stay in bed until 6am despite his concerns that he thinks it is boring. GOOD! I want it to be boring. I am also having him color pictures which he loves to do, which makes him stay in his bedroom (I’m in here now typing this). And right now I’m thinking that after his pictures we’ll go downstairs and do ‘adult things’ like fold the laundry. He’s going to love that? Who cares! It’s a morning adult task — and those are what Mommy and Daddy do when we wake up in the morning. I will refuse to turn on the TV like I’ve done many times in the past. He just needs to learn to sleep in until 6:30am at least.  Without sleeping in my son gets tired in the afternoon, his “batteries” wear out and takes refuses to nap at home on the weekends. This has an ill effect on our evening and bedtime routine. He is sometimes a real bear to get to bed, going into a meltdown just after dinner. So parents beware, kids NEED to nap/rest on the weekends. Or at least have quiet alone time, time to recharge. Definitely makes the night time more fun for all. (because lately I have zero patience for meltdowns and whining).

Ok so that was my mornings…now let’s learn about my evenings.

Our kids both attend a great daycare school and he pick them up around 5:30pm and therefore get home around 6pm. Yeah, it’s not the most ideal situation, but we’ve gotta work and that’s just how it is. We’ve accepted it. So by 6pm, they are usually hungry, sometimes a little snack in the car helps with the hunger pangs.  Sometimes nothing helps and that hunger turns to them arguing. They BOTH want the attention of either Mommy or myself, whomever picked them up from school. Ok, that is natural for them to want to share their day with us. I love to hear it too! But not both at the same time. Recall, ages 4 and 2 1/2…so the battle between then ensues and my head is ready to explode.  Yesterday I had enough and just cranked the music up in the car — and I mean loud! It was the Cha Cha Slide song. They both love to listen to it and try to stomp their feet while strapped into the car seat. Of course the song only helped for so long. Soon after the next song came on, my son’s new favorite (Beautiful Girls buy Sean Kingston — don’t ask…he must like the beat…) things went bad, fast! My daughter started to sing along but didn’t get the words right…so that made my son go ballistic. I had to pull over and stop. That didn’t help. I had to get out of the car. That didn’t help. I then (honest to God) smacked his cheek very lightly to get him to stop. It did. He was being extremely disrespectful to me at that moment and it’s been a thing of his to yell at mommy and me when he’s upset. Anyway, I feel bad for doing that but I need a way for him to learn he cannot CONTROL us and I know that i need at way to not let his control me or my wife. Otherwise I’ll be crazy in 9 years when he’s a teenager!!

Ok, we’re home and I need a beer. Dinner was good and bathtime was good. Good!!! Earlier crisis forgotten.

Bedtime, yay!!

Noooo. Bedtime battle! I typically put my daughter to bed which was always an easy task until about 2 months ago. She’s starting to not want us to leave the room. Yeah, I know…that is common for 2 year olds and up. They start to realize we are not there in their room. But why does she cry??? Let’s investigate.

Does she seem afraid?

Heck no! My daughter says to me with a laugh, “Monster get my toes…better cover up!” So what do you think? Afraid? No way…just a stall tactic.  I won’t be fooled.

Is she screaming to get attention?

DEFINITELY!!! Even after a bath and fun times asking about her day and then 3 books, she still wants “One more book”.  If I hear that “One more time” I’m gonna freak out. Now wait….I’m not being a grumpy old Daddy. I’m being reasonable.  I’ve tried the “one more book” sob story many nights…and it turns into my reading her what equates to a whole shelf of books and lasting until 9pm.

So my thing is to enjoy about 30 minutes with her and then read three books, whichever books she wants. I try to read the last book in her bed, the others I read on the floor or chair. Then I let her pick a song for me to sing, like “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, or “ABC’s“. Of course, last night I got half one through Baa Baa and she switched to ABCs. I just kept going with the flow and made a longer medley of songs. This is her way of keeping me in the room longer.

But after repeated warnings of “Daddy is going to bed now” I finally stand by the door as she’s crying out my name and slip out with a “Goodnight Sweetie, I’ll see you in the morning”. I then stand outside the door for a few minutes and soon the crying becomes wimpers and then nothing. I’ve peaked in after 10 minutes to sometimes find her sound asleep and other times she is still up reading books to her stuffed animals. I don’t mind if she is reading until 9pm. It’s good for her to learn to fall asleep on her own. My wife and I messed up with our older son, he still needs us to stay in his room. Things are getting better with that…some day things will be all good.

I found the below information on FamilyEducation.com:

Now, what about the screaming? Is she tired? Since she falls asleep in five minutes, it seems unlikely that her screaming is because she is not tired. To encourage a regular sleep pattern, try waking her at the same time each morning. At this age, one afternoon nap of no more than two hours should be sufficient.

If you stay in her room or extend her bedtime ritual, she interprets her screaming as successful. It would be better to leave the room and ignore her crying (though it may get worse before it gets better). (From Family Education web site)

Closing

I write my true feelings to share with others. If I did something bad I’ll mention it. Sure, I try to find humor in what I write, but this stuff is real. If you’re a new parent I want to give you my issues, my fun stories, and any ammunition you may need to battle similar situations that I’m facing. Good luck to all the Dads out there.

If you have similar situations let me know. I could also use some help from time to time and appreciate your comments and feedback.