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For my post of the day I’d like to let everyone know that Jeremy Biser, Discovering Dad, has a Spotlight Feature of me on his blog. It was a great honor to be asked by Jeremy to be included in his weekly series, Discovering Dad Spotlight Series On Dads.
Please head over to learn more about me and to read the great articles that Jeremy writes!
Guess it’s about time I faced up to the fact that I’m a HIGH STRESS DAD and need an avenue to deal with the tension, stress, exhaustion and other things going on right now. That is why I started this blog, to write away any stresses I may have. When I started out that was my sole intension, then I quickly wanted to write about fun events and other things, probably to avoid my real posts of releasing tension and stress. Well I’m going to have to start being more open on my blog and writing about the events in my life — the way I intended this blog to be in the first place. I’m not going to always write to release stress, but there will be times where I just need to type to calm down.
A Weekend Party (of stress)
Over the weekend my wife, kids and I were all at a party and I couldn’t fully relax and enjoy the day because I was worried that one of my kids were going to fall off the slide; get trampled on while on the moonbounce; or something - anything! I’m always looking for WHAT can happen to my kids and HOW they might hurt themselves rather than just taking a deep breath and heaving a huge sigh and just tell myself, “Jeff, everything will be all right. Kids are very durable, resilient and can take bumps and bruises much better then an adult!”
Well this isn’t probably too much of a shocker to most married couples with young children. What is with a "mommy " that the kids love that they need to cling to her and almost smother her, leaving me the poor old lonely Dad? For instance, I used to be the bedtime "go to" parent for both my son (about a year ago) and my daughter up until about 3 weeks ago. She’s going on two this August and our son will be four in October. Why had my daughter decided she wants MOMMY for bedtime. This really puts me in a bind because I would love to read books to my kids, especially if there are no "power struggles" or meltdowns at bedtime.But like I mentioned, lately, both kids want mommy. It’s ME that makes the funny voices and sing silly songs about the day to them, so why do they chose her over me?
Maybe because I’m the disciplinarian in the house. Might be because I try to be more strict . Probably because my wife enjoys having fun where I tend to worry about the next meltdown or what "might" transpire if the kids aren’t in bed by 8pm. So I guess it’s natural for them to gravitate to the one parent that has open arms all the time. But then that creates additional stress in the house, where my wife doesn’t get any "downtime" to herself like I do if she’s doing both bedtime routines.
Now don’t get me wrong. I would LOVE to read books and do the bedtime thing, I have this ritual with my daughter where we read a few books then as I put her into the crib we wave goodnight to the butterfly decals on her wall, then give BIG KISSES, then Eskimo Kisses, then BIG HUGS. Then up until about a month ago, she would immediately fall asleep. Now since she is almost 2 yo she is beginning to realize we are leaving her alone in her room. Tonight was a battle with her. She really wanted Mommy. It’s the 2 year old thing, the sense of losing a parent. Read the rest of this entry »
Well I thought I would have had a chance to write a few blog posts while on vacation, but after spending the mornings and afternoons by (and in) the pool I was exhausted. So were both of my kids. Right now it’s the last evening of vacation. Kids are both sleeping, sheer exhaustion! We are getting things packed up. We had a great week at Marriott’s OceanWatch at Grand Dunes in Myrtle Beach, SC. They are timeshare villas that we traded into, we own a week at Marriott Barony Beach Resort in Hilton Head Island, SC. We chose Myrtle Beach for a new destination and also it was 5 hours less of a drive (with two kids).
My little buddy, Boo, who’s 3 1/2 years old really enjoyed the pool. He used his arm floaties to become used to the pool. Last year he slipped in a pool and then was afraid. He overcame that fear pretty quick this year. I even got Boo to blow bubbles in the pool and dunk his head. That was awesome! I was so proud. He also learned how to doggie paddle around the pool! It was fun to see the “ear to ear” smile on his face when he would do something new in pool!
K-Bop (or maybe K-mop because of her wild curly hair) our 20mo daughter also loved the pool. She basically LOVES anything her big brother does. And I MEAN everything! Boo has been learning to STAND when he goes pee-pee, well guess what??? K-bop also learned to go pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty this week. She really is GOOD at letting us know. The funny part of vacation had to be when she watched her brother stand and go pee-pee and then refused to sit on the potty and decided she WANTED TO STAND. OMG!! So now she can’t watch him!
Well this was a great vacation. I had a great stress-free (almost) time with the kids. Didn’t worry about work or the house while here. Ok, well we’re heading to my wife’s parent’s house in Cumberland, VA for 2 nights since we haven’t seen the new addition to their old farm house. Then it’s back to the same old same old…but I hope to have learned to ‘be on vacation’ while at home!
This photo just makes me smile when I need one! Thanks Little Buddy!
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Tonight was perfect! Our son "allowed" me to take him to bed tonight. He usually demands Mommy, but tonight she had a 8-9pm conference call with for work and therefore it was my turn. I typically get to take our daughter (20 months) and put her to bed so my wife and I share the parenting duties. So this was special for me, I get to take my son to bed!
Anyway, I really enjoy putting Boo to bed . It’s a great bonding time for him and I. I try to ask him how his day was and what he liked best about daycare. Which of his buddies did he play with and other things throughout the day. I want to make him feel comfortable with sharing that information with me. He does for the most part but then reminds me, "Daddy, READ the book!"
So there we are sitting in his room, I’ve tucked in a 3′ Bob the Builder , "Mr Ted" (my son’s teddy bear that he made at Build a Bear ), and somehow found enough sheets and comforter to cover up Boo. We keep the lights low and usually have his closet light on to give us just enough light to cause serious eye damage when reading books to him! I’m not kidding. It’s NOT bad when it’s black type on white background like 99% of the books out there, but those 1%, the children’s books that are black font on a red or dark blue background, yeah right. Like I could barely read that in full sunlight! Tonight was ok though, Boo has what he calls his "spinner" — a spinning light toy he got from Mama and Papa when they took him to the circus in Philly over the weekend. He kept holding the button to make the colored lights spin and supply me with a faint glow so I could read to him. It was great!
But with the lights dim, the fact that I was up until 1:00am last night, and I had a long day at work, my eyes wanted to close so bad! Now how many of you have caught yourself reading to you children and then start to make up words, sentences, whole thoughts!? I do but then Boo is quickly there to say, "DADDY! That is NOT what it says!" I just smile and think, "Man, if only my memory was as good as a three year olds!" He calls me out on my dozing off every time. And I don’t mean to get sleepy, it’s just so relaxing reading to him.
So after two books Boo was starting to nod off, guess he had a long day as well. So I stopped reading and just laid my head on the side of his bed and rubbed his back a bit. (I’m sitting on a hard wooden stool!) In a matter of 5 minutes he fell asleep and I dozed off for a bit as well. I would wake up every now and then because my butt and legs were numb from the wooden stool! But what I love most is watching him sleep. He looks so peaceful and innocent and it’s at that moment that I feel so good about being his Daddy!
If I’m up late I always check on both kids before I hop into my bed. They’ve usually squirmed out from under the sheets or sometimes have even done a 180 and are sleeping with their head at the foot of the bed! I get them back to a good sleeping position and tuck them back in, make sure their favorite stuffed animal is within reach, kiss both of them on the forehead and whisper, "Daddy loves you so much!"
It’s 11:40pm now, and I’m heading up to do just that! Can’t wait!
I’ve been slammed the past two weeks with wrapping up a huge Microsoft SharePoint implementation project for a client. I put in some long hours both at the client site and at home after my kids were in bed. All of this sure leads to ONE CRANKY DADDY, but I try my hardest to leave work AT the office (I’m pretty good at that).
Anyway, I’m trying to figure out the balance of work tasks, home duties and decompress/destress time for Daddy (and Mommy who needs it badly!). We are lucky that one night a week my parents (who live 15 minutes away) watch Boo and KBop, it’s usually a Wednesday or Thursday night. This gives my wife and I time to either go OUT to dinner and be adults or stay home, cook, clean, blog and get extra sleep. This is our one free/adult night a week and it is VERY much appreciated! (Thanks Mom and Dad!)
The other nights when we all arrive home, my wife and I both work, and the kids attend a great day care, so we all have to transition from our long day to being home. The mix of 4 people and personalities creates a little bit of chaos and usually one of us is having a meltdown. Parents included. Haha. But we have been working on a few tricks that have been helping, one is when we arrive home, instead of running through the door and starting to prep dinner and empty the kid’s bags, either myself or my wife will play outside with the kids and the other unpacks the day care bag full of sippy cups and gladware containers. Also, preps dinner for all of us. Around 6:30pm we all try to sit down at the table to eat a pleasant meal. Sometimes we have luck and others it is like one of those “whack a mole” games because our daughter is constantly hoping up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…she’s 20 months old. I guess we forgot that is what some kids do at that age.
So anyway, I’m basically looking to see if anyone has any good suggestions? I’m opening up this post to comments so please leave them if you have ideas! Thanks.
A little love does go a long way. Tonight, when I gave my son a little extra attention, a little extra love, he ended up not whining quite as much as normal. This is a good thing since lately Boo has been whining quite a lot! My wife and I learned that around 4 years old is the peak for whining. Yikes! He’s 3 1/2, so probably another year or so.
But as I was writing, I had a great time this evening. Picked the kids up from daycare and took them to Chick-Fil-A and met some friends. I decided to take them there since everyone was in a good mood. Cathy, my wife, had already arrived home so she wasn’t going to meet us out therefore I just fed the kids a few nuggets and a juice box. The damn CFA Cow was there and it frightens just about every preschooler and toddler in the place! What’s with those things!? When we arrived home, Boo wanted to play outside. Not a problem since it was a bit warmer today. We got to swing the bat and practice hitting balls that I underhand tossed to him. He almost connected on one of the throws! We then switched and he threw to me as I batted. It’s fun to do that sort of things with my son!
By the way, this was my first blog post over the phone. A few unrecognized words that I had to fix, but other than that , pretty good. I kept the message short as a test. I used Jott, a voice to text service that makes staying organized and in touch easy. Give it a try for your day to day reminders.
My wife and I decided to have the kids wake up and hunt for their Easter eggs and baskets today, Saturday, instead of Easter morning. We just thought that it would be a smoother Easter Sunday if we had the egg hunt out of the way and let them find the eggs when it was just the four of us.
Our kids are 3 1/2 and 19 months old. Our daughter is the youngest and this year was fun to watch both kids interact while hunting for their eggs. Our son was so good at being a “big brother” and helped K-Bop find all of her eggs.
We got a lot of good video and photos to share with family and friends.
It was a good pre-Easter day!
Nope it ain’t Australia! So right now, this week, our son who’s 3 1/2 is telling my wife at bedtime that his penis feels funny (is tingly, hurts, feels different, etc. - Boo sure had a lot of sayings about this already). Yikes! So what does that mean? Just a year ago I was teaching him about the (real) birds and the bees and now he’s noticing his manhood and asking about why it gets the way it does. Oh boy. What does a Dad say to a 3 1/2 year old?
I’ve noticed myself saying, “It’s ok, that is natural”, or “the scientific answer is…blood flow”, or I just say, “So what about school, what did you do there today?” and bypass the question. How many other Dads (or moms) are currently going through this phase in your son’s or daughter’s life right now? I think I’m going to ask the other Dads in Boo’s daycare class about this and see if this is happening to them yet, and if so, what the Hell they are doing about it!
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