Hey Dads, Forget Hiding Out in Your Basement…Now We Have a Real Hangout!

Posted by Jeff on February 20, 2009

I just learned of this site tonight, Dad-Blogs.com, a new, freakin’-awesome site for us Dads! Dad Blogs is a site based on the vision of two dads, Joe Schatz (author of Joeprah) and Pete Janelle (a.k.a peteej from My GPS Camera Phone). Thanks guys for for getting this site off the ground!

First Impressions

I just joined and am very impressed by the layout, the interaction and how simple the site is to navigate and find groups, participate in forums, find buds (friends), write reviews on movies, beer/wine and much more. I can’t wait to actually be more awake to dive in and see who else had joined and what groups are out there.

Shit, this site has it all for us Dads!

Gotta Love the Posts!
Just to get you started…here are two of my (or soon to be) favorite posts. I’m going to have to read, re-read, share, and explain myself to my wife.

Top 6 Things Not to do if you want More Sex with your Wife

…and another post that I NEED to learn from

Parental Cursing Could Become a Child’s Habit, No Sh*t

Ok, so here is a snapshot of my profile to give you an idea of what the site looks like.

Another sweet aspect of the site is that I joined the group for BEER DADS, where we can chat about the beers we all enjoy and so badly need at night. There is even an event scheduled for tonight, 2/20 9pm to chat. I’m hoping I can make it!

Well, enough babble from me…if you haven’t yet checked out Dad-Blogs.com, do it now.

Also, stop over to Building Camelot, where author Tyler, wrote his review on Dad-Blogs.

How I Used 30 Minutes to Transition from Work to Home And How It Helped Me Be a Better Daddy

Posted by Jeff on January 21, 2009

How many of you are from families where both parents work?

How about just one parent that works?

Well in our family, both Mommy and I work, and we work hard during our 9 hour day away from the kids — they both go to school/daycare. Mommy has a little longer of a commute (30 mins from work to daycare) and therefore a little more “transition time” from work life to home life. Me on the other hand work minutes from our kid’s daycare — and I used to be the primary parent for evening pick up — giving me like 3 minutes to destress from a busy day at work to both kids so excited to see me. Sure it’s awesome to have them excited to see me…but I was always experiencing both of them trying to talk over one another, tell me about their day, and just trying to fight for my attention.

My attention? How could I pay attention to them with only 3 minutes of downtime from work? I try and I try and I never seem to be able to do that.

Well lately my wife, the saint that she is, has been picking up the kids and I’ve been heading home directly from work. I get home around 5:30pm and take care of the kitchen. Some nights it’s emptying the dishwasher, others it’s just cleaning up the bomb that went off from the morning!! Shit everywhere! And sometimes I might just do nothing — just to relax. I need to relax! I’m a high stress individual , not a good mix for a 4 and 2 year old right now. (I’ve written about that before…and probably write more on that subject again!)

Finding the time to relax and enjoy playtime

So…as I was typing. I’ve been heading home before the rest of the family. Take tonight for example. I left work at 5:10pm and stopped off at ACME (food store) to grab a few things for a salad (it was eat lite night) and return a RedBox movie rental (My Best Friend’s Girlfriend – or something like that). So by the time I got home it was 5:40pm. Not too bad — I had 30 minutes of transitioning from work to home (the drive is usually 15 minutes). I felt good when I got home!

What Worked

Having dinner almost ready when the rest of the family arrived home made all of us more relaxed. No more last minute running around the kitchen like a one man chef at a busy restaurant. No…it was rather peaceful. The whole night was peaceful.

I had the kid’s dinners ready, food on plate, milk in cups, napkins, forks and spoons for them. Then i prepped a simple salad of baby spinach, feta and sunflower seeds for my wife and I. Poured her a glass of Shiraz and I enjoyed 2 Heinekin Lights. (It was eat lite night).

I did not yell tonight! That might be the first night in like months I didn’t have to raise my voice! It was a great feeling. And I could tell that my son really liked that. He would say, “I Love you Daddy!”

So after dinner he and I went into his playroom and created a pretty kick-butt GEOTRAX train layout. He was so excited that I went in and ASKED him to play trains with me. I usually try to clean up and do house stuff so my wife and I don’t have to do that once the kids are asleep. We do need our own time as well. But she packed lunches and cleaned up while the kids and I played.

The Best Night Ever

Well at least tonight ranks up there in Top 5 nights for me. There was absolutely NO WHINING! That’s right. No Whining at our house! Or none that I remember, so that’s good. Took my son up to bed and read him 3 books. He kept saying he had fun with the trains and than he loved me. That sure makes me feel good and I do feel good about it! I made his night!! and he made mine!

Now I just have to remember to stay calm and continue this!

This Daddy Is NOT Perfect, Either!

Posted by Jeff on October 8, 2008

Before I came downstairs to work on a few web site projects to earn us a little extra cash, my wife, Cathy, said, “Hey, you haven’t blogged in a quiet a while.” I was thinking the very same thing just yesterday. Sorry, I just haven’t found the ‘extra’ time to do so (if anyone has one of those fancy time stopping devices, please let me know.) I feel bad about not being able to write. I’ve missed it.

I’ve been trying to think up ways that I can post more stories and real life events that I deal with and hopefully can get back into the swing of things now that summer is long gone! I want to be able to share MORE about ME and what I SEE in my kids as they grow up.

Also…

I read a great post by Kim at Jogging in Circles just this evening that really inspired me to write this post. Read Kim’s Post about not being perfect.

I’m Not a Perfect Person, Either!

As Kim wrote in her post, “My life is not perfect. I do not live in an a fairy tale.” Well I don’t live in a fairy tale either. And I’m not perfect. And that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I can sit here and think about things that are going on right now and blog about them. Blogging makes me stop and think. The MORE I blog, the more I begin to actually change. I don’t want to yell at my kids anymore for the little things they do. I don’t want to argue with my loving wife either. I don’t want to drink beer or get that 60″ Plasma HDTV….wait, wrong post. But what I want to do is be a good daddy. I’m on my way to that….

What I Still Have to Accomplish!

Well I’ve done a lot of different things in my life; a lot of successes!

I learned to crawl, walk, “go potty” sitting down — then standing up, talk, read, write, ride a bike, play soccer, play the trumpet, drive a car, kiss girls, attend college, graduate from college, enjoy wine, travel, have a good career, get married, buy a home, enjoy cooking, watch the birth of our first son in 2004 (very proud Daddy moment). We then had baby #2 in 2006, another proud Daddy moment.

But I am still missing something.

Something that might make me close to being perfect…

Along the way, I don’t think I ever stopped to really enjoy having fun. I mean, I DO have fun, but sometimes it doesn’t come that easy. I feel like I can’t relax when playing with my kids because I’m afraid they might get hurt or something. I don’t know how to laugh out loud, especially when playing with my kids with my wife or parents present. That is probably my insecurities coming out.

But this past weekend my son Logan and I played roll-the-ball out on my parent’s patio and he made me actually laugh. It was a great moment for me! I mean, I was having a great time ROLLING A BALL!!

Once my wife arrived, the kids flock to her (like fruit flies on wine) and don’t let her take a breath. I try and “pull” them off her but they have this weird-clinging-sticky stuff on them that won’t let me pull them off!!It’s like elastic or something, Stretch Armstrong-like. I can pull them off for about 2 minutes and then “ssssnap” they cling back to her.

See, still not perfect, but I try!

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